The Best Traveler Mindset: Release (The Fourth R of Responsible Travel)

If you're working toward becoming a more responsible traveler, the best traveler mindset is: Release. Let go.

“Release” is the fourth R of Responsible Travel. If you’ve missed the previous posts in our series, be sure to read our first, second, and third Rs:

• ​Research Before You Travel: The First “R” of Responsible Travel
• ​Rank Your Travel Options: The Second “R” of Responsible Travel
• ​Respectful Travel: Essential Tips and the Third “R” of Responsible Travel

When you travel to faraway places and come into contact with new ways of living life—seeing, smelling, feeling and hearing things you've never experienced before—you may feel overwhelmed and out of control.

You might feel inclined to run back to where you can understand the language, identify the food, and be among people more like you. You may cling to your smartphone and use it to find your way around and translate everything you don’t understand.

The best traveler mindset is to breathe through the discomfort. Release control and the constant need for comforts and conveniences. Let go of pre-conceived notions about places and people groups. Release expectations, and extra baggage—both literal and metaphorical—and learn from the experience.

Travel teaches us so much about life, and the more we can release, the more likely we are to have a life-changing adventure.

Here are a few ways you can employ the transformative travel mindset of "Release" the next time you travel:

Release Control: Accept that you can’t control everything and go with the flow.

As a traveler, accept that many situations and outcomes that are out of your control. This is easier said than done, as we all like to be in control of our own lives and outcomes. However, going with the flow is incredibly liberating. We don't have to worry about every outcome or stress over every detail. Instead, plan ahead before departure and then trust yourself and those around you. Release control and open yourself up to new possibilities!

Put the smartphone away.

This modern world of technology can give us a feeling of control.

It's easy to rely heavily on Google and ChatGPT for answers. Sometimes we need to adopt the best traveler mindset: release–and disconnect from our devices to rely on human connection instead.

Face-to-face communication with others allows us to build relationships, share experiences, and learn from one another. Reaching out to a stranger can be more beneficial than searching the internet for an answer.

Giving up that “control” and connecting with people around us when we travel helps create strong connections that technology cannot replace.

Go where you don’t speak the language.

One of the biggest areas where travelers may lose control is in the ability to easily communicate with others.

Thoughts of traveling in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language can be very intimidating. The unfamiliarity of the surroundings and lack of communication can be paralyzing. However, remember the best traveler mindset. This is an opportunity to release, see the world differently, and learn to interact without words. Learning to navigate and connect with people who don’t speak your language is a valuable skill and learning experience.

Places like Thailand, where I don’t speak the language, taught me patience and problem-solving skills, and how to connect with others beyond mere words.

We have tools at our disposal beyond words alone to communicate. Here are a few practical tips for communicating in places where you don’t speak the language:

• ​Try using body language or drawing pictures to communicate your needs.
• Plan ahead and write important addresses and information on cards or in a notebook that you can show the locals. For example, if you have a food allergy or restriction, have a card printed in the local language that you can show to waiters and food vendors to let them know. Have your hotel address and/or directions written and ready to show a taxi driver.
• Knowing a few basic phrases (as I wrote before), can make all the difference when navigating a foreign country. Often, someone will know a few words of English. When you make an effort in their language, they may meet you halfway and make an effort to use some English.
• If all else fails, pull out that smartphone. Look up the phrases you need. Even though it is nice to figure things out face-to-face, technology can be a lifesaver when you get stuck!

Release the Comfort Zone: Get uncomfortable and prepare to grow.

Getting uncomfortable is… uncomfortable… but it's how we learn. Some of the best things in life happen when you take risks and step outside of your comfort zone. It’s scary, but it can also be rewarding and ultimately empowering. The best traveler mindset, releasing, allows us to step out of that comfort zone.

Comfort zones are places where we can relax and feel secure. But they can become a prison if we don’t push ourselves to try new things and experience different ways of living. The benefits of breaking out of your comfort zone (within reasonable limits) are well-documented.

Traveling in itself won't do much for you if you don't get out and push your limits, though. The many people who consider themselves to be great travelers and yet never leave the cruise ship, resort, or whatever bubble of comfort to which they have flown, amaze me. Why travel abroad if not to see what daily life is actually like in the countries they’re visiting?

Challenge yourself.

Get out and experience different cultures, explore new places, and try some new traveling styles. This will look different for different people. If you’re new to travel, start with an easier destination that is more similar to life at home. If you're already an experienced traveler, your comfort zone will be broader than it is for a newbie.

Challenge yourself in ways that you can't at home. When you're outside of your normal routine, it causes you to be more open-minded and tolerant of different lifestyles and beliefs. We should strive toward this as responsible travelers. Plus, it's an excellent opportunity for self-discovery, excitement, and for making lifelong memories!

If you're looking for a way to learn more about yourself and the world around you, then the best traveler mindset is to push yourself. Get uncomfortable. Here are a couple of ways to release your comfort zone:

Meet new people.

Meeting new people can be a great way to gain a deeper understanding of the places you visit. It can also be an enjoyable experience. One way you can connect with the locals is by asking questions or asking for help. Not only does this give them the opportunity to give useful advice, but it also shows that you are interested and friendly. You’re willing to speak to them rather than rely on your smartphone.

People who are friendly and open-minded will often find themselves pulled into conversations, or better. You might be welcomed into their homes or invited to experience something unique. If you want to make the most out of your trip, don’t be afraid to release your fear and reach out. You never know what kind of connections you might make when you adopt the best traveler mindset!

And that leads us to another way to jump outside your comfort zone:

Say “yes” to every opportunity.

Travelers who say “yes” to new opportunities are often rewarded with life-changing experiences. Every traveler has different goals when approaching their travels. However, adopting the best traveler mindset and saying yes can help to open up a world of possibilities that you may have never considered before. The benefits of travel are limitless. One of the most valuable is being exposed to different cultures and ways of life which can provide us with unique perspectives and broaden our horizons.

Whether it’s trying a new cuisine, learning some words from the local language, or accepting an invitation to someone's home, saying yes allows for a more immersive experience and the chance to gain an understanding of other cultures. Those who will take a risk and embrace unexpected opportunities often find themselves changed for the better.

Push yourself to say yes to something new. You might discover hidden talents or passions you didn’t know you had! Saying “yes” is an important part of any traveler’s journey as it helps create memories that will last a lifetime.

Embrace a journey of curiosity.

Adopting the best traveler mindset, to release, helps engage curiosity. Curiosity encourages us to try new things, even if we are not sure how it will turn out.

• What happens if you try this new food?
• What happens if you say "hello" and introduce yourself to a person in the local language?
• What happens if you go back and visit the same little local restaurant for lunch three days in a row?
• What happens if you sign up for a dance class with the locals?

Taking the time to experiment provides an opportunity for personal growth. We learn more about ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses, and where our true passions lie. Experimenting with new ideas gives us the chance to explore the unknown and discover something new about ourselves or the world around us. More doors of opportunity may swing open. So instead of staying in your comfort zone, why not take a leap of faith and try something new? What's the worst that could happen? Who knows what exciting discoveries await you!

The only way to fully experience life is by going beyond the boundaries of predictability and security. Adopt the best traveler mindset. Release the comfort zone.

Release Expectations: Don’t go in with pre-conceived notions and pretend you know.

Unmet expectations are the recipe for disappointment. Try a new recipe: As much as possible, release expectations. Travel with a sense of curiosity and adventure and willingness to roll with whatever happens. There are several ways we can release expectations.

Don't expect all the amenities from your home city.

In many destinations around the world, you may discover a place lacks the infrastructure that you are used to. Perhaps the power goes out more often, the roads are not as well-maintained, the plumbing doesn’t work right. Even in more touristy and developed areas, some countries simply do not have access to the same resources or services that you may be accustomed to.

In other situations, it may surprise you at how modern a place is. When we first landed in Singapore, their technological level amazed me. I estimated it to be a few years ahead of most of the U.S. While I knew Singapore was a developed country, I hadn’t expected it to be more advanced than my country. What a pleasant surprise!

You may be surprised at the resourcefulness of people in overcoming challenges they face, and their ability to adapt in the face of unpredictability. We would do well to learn from them. Let’s strive to be adventurous and resourceful, and learn to adapt to the places in which we travel.

Challenge any existing stereotypes.

Locations have certain reputations, but it is always best to discover the place for yourself and form your own opinion. This is another area in which it is best for us travelers to release expectations. Approach your travels with an open mind and challenge any existing stereotypes.

Explore new cultures, expose yourself to different types of people, and learn about their customs and traditions not only as a group, but as individual people. Many will not fit the stereotype. Your open-mindedness increases your likelihood of making meaningful connections with those who live in the area.

You’ll gain insight into different lifestyles and experiences that you might never have encountered before, and even find that in surprising ways, some things really aren't so different from life at home.

Let go of irrational fears.

While it is very important to listen to your gut and stay out of dangerous situations, it's natural that you'll feel apprehension and fear in unfamiliar situations that aren't actually dangerous. For example, many news-o-holics are afraid to travel to Mexico, or at least to leave their all-inclusive resorts. They fear they will be kidnapped or murdered by the drug cartels.

Sadly, this type of fear can prevent us from connecting with people or having positive, life-changing experiences. We hear echoes from our childhoods where parents told us, “Don’t talk to strangers.” Ask yourself, does this person or situation actually look threatening, or is this just different and unfamiliar?

Overall, having an open mind, adopting the best traveler mindset, and releasing expectations can help create a rewarding travel experience that will last a lifetime!

Release Extra Baggage: Embrace the minimalist travel mindset and learn to let go.

Baggage can take two forms: physical and emotional. As responsible travelers, we need to learn to release both.

Leave physical baggage behind.

You don't need as much as you think when it comes to packing for a trip. By traveling light, you can save time, money, and energy. At the same time, you ensure your trips are more enjoyable, more stress-free, and better for the environment.

It's easy to get caught up in trying to take too much with you when you travel. However, the minimalist approach allows you to focus on the most important things. You will save time, energy and money by packing fewer items. You don't need much to have an amazing trip:

• the essential clothing items—one week's worth of interchangeable outfits, and layers for changing weather (do laundry)
• personal medications and supplements you may not be able to get at the destination
• a few essential toiletries (you can always buy more when you get there)
• any needed personal devices (including the laptop if you plan to work and travel)

That does the trick in most cases—even long trips—and it will all fit in a carry-on bag. By not checking a suitcase, you'll save time at the airport, both at departure and arrival. Plus, less luggage means less to carry and keep track of, and the more you will enjoy the journey. Trust that whatever you truly need, you'll find it along the way! Don’t pack random things “just in case.”

Lessening your load can lead to a heightened sense of freedom and adventure – something every traveler should experience!

Let go of the emotional baggage.

Realizing that you are in a position of privilege can bring with it a sense of guilt and awkwardness interacting with people who are very different from you. Don't let your differences stop you from interacting with people who might have different values, skin color, income, physical ability, or anything else. Breathe through the discomfort and get to know them anyway. What you learn through this exercise may surprise you.

The privilege you feel may also inspire a burden to help those less fortunate than yourself. Feelings of guilt often move people toward a "savior complex." Sadly, well-intentioned actions may unwittingly cause more harm than good. For a good overview of this topic, check out the documentary, Poverty, Inc.

It gets tricky with beggars. I struggle with this myself, because I’m always willing to help someone with a genuine need, and I’m sure there are some who genuinely have a need. As we all know, some beggars use money to fuel their addictions rather than feed themselves and their children. But beyond that, mafia organizations sometimes employ beggars to collect money. Your giving to them may only keep them in their desperate situation under mafia control. Also, giving money or anything else to child beggars can discourage them from getting an education. So be judicious, give if your gut tells you the need is real, and try to find other ways to help that could make a bigger difference in the long run.

Volunteering in certain organizations, especially ones involving “orphans,” may end up creating a situation where children are actually separated from their families. Unfortunately, “orphanages” in some cases are nothing more than an industry fueled with funds from unsuspecting tourists with big hearts. Since learning about this practice, I’ve wondered how legitimate the organization I volunteered with in Romania years ago was.

The sad fact is, there are nefarious organizations out there that play on guilt to bring in money. While there are of course true needs all over, we don't always know what's best. The people in that community know their needs and the solutions better than anyone else.

For this reason, I like to support community-based tourism and community-led initiatives. These are far more sustainable and do not set up the dynamic of paternalism and dependency that we often see in programs led by foreign agencies. While it tugs at my heartstrings to see a child begging, I believe it is best to release the guilt of not giving directly. Instead, support local businesses and initiatives that will promote a healthier economy for that child in the long term.

I used to feel guilty over my desire to travel. It still bothers me that there is so much inequity in travel and that we, to this day, still follow many of the old colonial patterns. However, I think it is possible to help bring about more equity by working together to create a better world with the local organizations who have the ability to see the problems and solutions much more clearly than we do. If you have a passion for travel AND a passion for helping others, there are ways you can make a positive difference while you travel the world.

The Best Traveler Mindset: Release… and Focus on Gratitude

As a traveler, you get to slake your thirst for wanderlust and experience new perspectives, cultures, and lifestyles that help to open your mind and nourish your soul. It's a privilege denied to many. Although things may not always go smoothly, although you'll likely experience some discomfort, and although you may give up many of the little conveniences of home, you're lucky.

Taking time to be grateful for all the experiences, opportunities, and the new people in our lives can be incredibly rewarding. Being mindful of what we have and recognizing our blessings in spite of the challenges creates the perfect balance between adventure and contentment.

So, to recap:

​Release Control: Accept that you can’t control everything and go with the flow.
Release the Comfort Zone: Get uncomfortable and prepare to grow.
Release Expectations: Don’t go in with pre-conceived notions and pretend you know.
Release Extra Baggage: Embrace the minimalist travel mindset and learn to let go.

Remember the best traveler mindset and 4th R of Responsible Travel: Release—and make that next trip a positive experience—both for you and for the world.